19 Mar

Prophets in My Midst: The (Good) Lawyer


Part of a series about everyday people I met who said a lot.

About a year ago my wife had some legal woes dealing with an old landlord. We were also in the middle of making peace with upstairs neighbors who really couldn’t be bothered with the fact that folk live below them (I’m guessing the metaphor its, BTW). So we came up with a phrase: bulletproof.

The idea was that no matter what that landlord threw at us, no matter what noise the upstairs neighbors made at whatever ungodly/all hours, we were bulletproof. No guns, just that they couldn’t hurt us. In other word, an urban/turbo version of “sticks and stones.”

Except that a lot of these things DID hurt us. The legal issue especially tossed crusged glass into bath towels, and even delayed my proposal (we weren’t even engaged at the time).

During the trial my wife’s lawyer, Liz, saw we were upset, while she was cool as chilled ice in the pre-global-warming Antartic.

“You learn to be bombpoof in this business,” she told us.

Bombproof: wow.

Were were protecting ourselves against lead projectiles, but she was ready for a blast great enough to knock down buildings, city blocks, entire cities, worlds… the BIG stuff.

My wife and I were in awe, yet not ready to upgrade ourselves. Instead Liz gave us something to aspire to, a black belt of life-grade Teflon. We were still struggling as grasshoppers.

But one day, not only will the bullets not matter, but neither will the blast.